Living Life as Rx*

About a year ago, I made a decision. I picked up the phone, spoke to a friendly guy and booked an appointment to visit a gym. I made it through the orientation and I even made it through the initial training week. It was hard, I was sore, and I was far from sure that I was in the right place. It's not something you do everyday, make a choice to dramatically alter your physical fitness.

During the first month or two, I had to re-convince myself, each Sunday, that I could do it all over again for the following 7 days. I re-committed each week, to showing up, three times that week, and working out harder than I had for the past 10 years. I coaxed aching muscles into hot showers, sweat more than I had in years and set the alarm for 5:30am. To say that planning an already hectic day around the gym was hard, was an understatement. But I chose to do it, begrudgingly.

At some point through those first few months, it stopped becoming a chore. It stopped becoming something I felt like I needed to do and, strangely, became something I wanted to do. I stopped having to give myself regular pep talks. Instead, I found myself praising my mind and body for lifting heavy things and running longer distances than I thought possible. I found myself silently wanting to accomplish more at the gym instead of hiding out because it was going to be too hard.

Of course it was hard. It still is. Some days suck. Some days I still need that pep talk. But I do it anyway.

At some point along the way, I started to feel stronger, faster and bolder outside of the gym. I started to see progress with the way my body looked and felt, amidst sore muscles, early mornings and increasing loads of laundry, I began to feel better. I started wearing tighter clothes, I started going out more and I even joined a local roller derby team. I stopped being intimidated by all the things I didn't think I could do.

In the past year, I haven't lost a single pound. Losing weight was my initial goal. I have however changed the size of my jeans, my shirts and my bras. I have also discovered that I can deadlift 200 lbs, shoulder-check someone while moving on roller skates and I can take the stairs two at a time, while holding my son in my arms. Weight loss is still an illusive goal, but it's only part of the picture now. And I know what to do, I just need to commit to doing it, just like I committed to initially picking up the phone.

There are still a ton of things I can't wait to be able to do. I no longer doubt whether I will do them. I now wonder when I will do them.

At the gym, whenever someone does a programmed workout without modifying the actual listed (otherwise known as "prescribed") weight, amount of reps, or specific mouvement, it is called doing the workout "as Rxed".

*I want this t-shirt. I want to continue this life.